Kεlsi✮

NEW LIVEJOURNAL

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 01:18:04 GMT

Hey guys.
I now have a new LJ.
Follow the link:

http://riflessivoanima.livejournal.com/

Blogthings Personality Quiz..pretty accurate.

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 08:02:26 GMT

You are Extroverted, Agreeable, Neurotic and Open

Extroversion:

You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go"!

Conscientiousness:

You have low conscientiousness.
Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously.
Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions.
Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great admirer of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

http://www.blogthings.com/thefivefactorpersonalitytest/

Something to think About.

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:04:04 GMT

I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael
Jackson . As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an
entertainer who performed for decades. He made millions, he spent
millions, and he did a lot of things that make him a villian to many
people. I understand that his death would affect a lot of people, and
I respect those people who mourn his death, but that isn't the point
of my rant.
Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their
minds with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the
country was to ENTERTAIN people, the Amercian people find the need to
flock to a memorial in Hollywood , and even Congress sees the need to
hold a "moment of silence" for his passing?
Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a
freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What
about all those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those
Soldiers who, knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war,
still raised their hands and swore to defend the Constitution and the
United States of America . Where is their moment of silence? Where
are the people flocking to their graves or memorials and mourning over
them because they made the ultimate sacrifice? Why is it when a
Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good ridence," and "thank
God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the
sacrifice of GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off
thier deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop
Icon?"
I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS
for Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every
service member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan . They need to PUBLICLY
recognize every life that has been lost so that the American people
can live their callous little lives in the luxory and freedom that WE,
those that are living and those that have gone on, have provided for
them. But, wait, that would take too much time, because there have
been so many willing to make that sacrifice. After all, we will never
make millions of dollars. We will never star in movies, or write hit
songs that the world will listen too. We only shed our blood, sweat
and tears so that people can enjoy what they have.
Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it. Feel free to pass
this along if you want.
Remember these five words the next time you think of someone who is
serving in the military;
"So that others may live..."

Glance into her soul and see the truth.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:58:43 GMT

So there once was this girl and this girl was like no one else. She did what she wanted. She did it when she wanted it. Once she was determined nothing would stop her. She felt as though she was on top of the world. Until one day things changed, her world crashed down around her. And from that moment on her life was never the same. Memories of her past taunted her. There was always this constant haunting of the people and the places. But those people’s mistakes made her a victim. She always kept things closed up inside because she felt that her feelings didn’t matter to anyone. The more she would say the more problems it caused. People stressed, worried, felt sorry…and that isn’t what she wanted. She just wanted a fresh start, a new life..but the chains of memories that should be forgotten were still fastened tightly around her mind. She was shackled with her own anguish. On the outside, when people looked at her, she seemed so full of life, so happy. Always going places and doing things, everyone said she was lucky…but she didn’t feel lucky..only pain. Day after day she went through a routine she called life, but the meaning for it..she didn’t know. Every day she distracted herself, but as soon as she was alone, her memories tore her apart. She thought it was her fault, the reason why everything happened. Always carrying the blame wore down her mind, fiction wasn’t even better than reality anymore. When she slept her dreams were terrifying nightmares, always showing the people she loved hurting her. She woke in the middle of the night every couple of hours, only to find sleep impossible. Day after day she felt this secret pain but still she told no one. She knew she could, there were people who were willing to listen, but she didn’t think it would make her feel any better. Her demons told her no one cared, no one really loved her. So she sat there and wondered, when will this end? How could she continue to let one person control her life? She always tried to stay busy, hoping she could forget. But she still, no matter what she did, felt the same way. Because she always had to go home, back the the torment, the hell. She pulled away and kept things hidden. She feared if people knew they wouldn’t accept her and she didn’t want to lose them. Everyone had always gotten tired of her eventually. She caused too many problems for those around her. So as she sat with those she called friends they would say “Smile more” …so she did and no one saw through the lie it held.

My Demons

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:22:25 GMT

My Demons
by Kelsi Fahrni

Lost inside a labyrinth
Deep within myself
Chained by an unforgiving beast
To pain and regrets long past
I dwell here in this land of longing
Wanting to be free of demons
Haunting me, taunting me
I want to scream, cry out for release
But redemption will not come so easy
Pardon for these crimes is fleeting
For she who cannot even begin to forgive herself
Cannot be forgiven by others

Our Love

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:20:37 GMT

Our Love
by Kelsi Fahrni

Crying tears of diamonds
Rivers of rhinestones run down my cheeks
Onto your shoulders, I hold you tight.
Our eyes meet for a century,
It seems like time stands still.
Just me and you together.
And then,
I falter.

How can you still be here?
Time has past...
Normally these things don’t last.
But I know because I’m in your arms,
I’ll be alright.

Life and death cannot separate
What we meant to be forever.
Do you love me?
Or is this a one way mirror
On a two way street

Pictures scattered across the floor
So afraid this won’t last
But for now, as I lie in your arms
I am willing to take this chance.
Here we are with a future unclear
Just me and you.
In this timeless present.

Support Our Troops

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:19:53 GMT

Support Our Troops
by Kelsi Fahrni

Blood all over the ground
Soldiers gagged and bound
Fallen heroes by their side
Bodies linger far and wide.

Bombs go off every second
Soldiers scan for medics and beckon
Hopeless cries of wounded men
Nurses don’t know where to begin

So much death and so much pain
Lots of loss and not much gain
Why are we fighting this endless war
Regardless, we need to support those who are.

Welcome to JDF

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:19:02 GMT

Welcome to JDF
by Kelsi Fahrni

Welcome to my world
A resort of sorts you don’t see
Where the doors will lock behind you
And fantasies are free

Where calenders mean nothing
As weeks turn into months
Where memories can haunt you
And rivers flow from tears

Where concrete walls surround you
Cell doors of cold hard steel
Your conscience starts to taunt you
And nightmares seem so real

A domain filled with sorrow
Where, even I, break down and cry
A place with no tomorrow
Where people live and die inside

Welcome to JDF
A warehouse of human race
Where even when someone’s set free
Another takes their place

So welcome to my world
If it’s where you want to be
A barren cell
A home in hell
I pray they set you free.

Inmates Don't Cry

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:18:11 GMT

Inmates Don't Cry
by Kelsi Fahrni

The Judge entered the courtroom
The bailiff yelled, “All rise.”
I sat up tall and looked him in the eye
When he passed out his verdict I thought I would die
But I kept a straight face
Cause inmates don’t cry.

Back from the court, locked in a cell
I think of the lock-down
The torment, the hell,
CO’s walked by, they said something sly,
But I acted real tough,
Cause inmates don’t cry.

We swore to ourselves
That we’d never come back
As we approached the great dungeon
The walls seemed to rise
But I said something slick
Cause inmates don’t cry.

Now time goes by
Some good and some bad
Moments are shared
Some happy and some sad
I no longer feel bold, tough, of wise
All I’ll tell you a secret
Last night I cried.

Life

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:03:55 GMT

what is this so-called journey of life? when does it actually find meaning? as i’ve sat and thought about this, i’ve realized that there are many different aspects to life that are very intriguing to think about. there are a lot of situations that provide climates in which we live in such as how the state of california is divided up into different counties, towns, and temperatures. you have the beach along the coast, mountain ranges within the whole state, valleys where agriculture springs about, deserts that the scorching sun claims as its home, and industrialized towns that are inhabited by many people. life is a state. its the state of living, or being alive. as we all embark on our on life journey, how many times have we been presented with situations that resemble the terrain that we live amongst? we all are on a road, walking, we make decisions that take us to different "terrains", much like how roads take us to different places.it is very easy to become overwhelmed by the people around us. always just putting up with their bad attitudes, or their nagging personality. it’s a situation we've all been through. much like how the city of angels is. crowded, annoying at times, the people there have been known to be rude and inconsiderate, making you feel inferior to the "superior" businessmen and women that reside there. that when in life your walking and you walk into this swarm of disapproving people, or a friend is really taking a toll on your emotional and physical strength, it is always enticing just to run away. although los angeles encompasses a majority of southern california, it does make you want to run for the suburbs of the large city. just to filter out yourself to keep yourself sane. its almost that when we hit the los angeles in our lives we must step back in our journey and detox our system and get away from the swarm of people. it is then that we run for a calming place such as the ocean. the beach is always calming and serene, the waves washing the sand 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, its a never ending peaceful cycle. as i’ve found myself sitting on the sand just watching the ocean, its always nice just to forget about everything that had been bothering you, that your problems have been casted into the ocean for those few short hours of reflecting on the creation around you. it is the beaches in our life journey that provide the healing and restoration of the brokenness we’ve endured in the los angeles phases of our journey. that after so much intensity that we have endured, we can finally find rest. the ocean provides that reflecting time period to just think and be left alone. the gentle breezes that flow in and out of our lives help calm down our spirit, whether the breeze in your life is writing and venting on paper, talking to friends, or just resting, these times in our journey are crucial for us to experience cause it is here that we are made whole. being whole makes this life journey so much easier to press onward and live. that from our brokenness on the beach, we can climb the mountains and see clearly how everything we've been through has molded us in the shape that we are today. it is on the mountains that we can see the most beautiful sunsets, sunrises, landscapes and masterpieces created.it is here in our lives that we should realize all we have.that when we are finally happy and joyful after so much hurt and pain, we should be happy for all we have to be thankful for. the clean and liberating air is all around us, as we take in the sites it is in these times we are glad to be alive. in these times we simply say, "i love my life." as the newness of our wholeness wears off. we are left wandering down our mountain top experience into our complacent selves. as the high of the good things in our lives calm down, the valley is the place we enter too.the valley is nice and subtle. here it is where everything is ok, just ok, nothing good or bad. it is the place in our lives that we are left wondering. the unanswered questions we have are left unanswered and our situations seem to be left unchanged. as we keep trudging on in our journey to our destiny, it feels as if we come to a stand still. where we just pause and stay in this state of going through the motions and just stare, not move forward or backward, but just stare off into the distance wondering what the future holds. the sun shines and the rain falls, the valley is the place of mixed emotions. where we can be soaked by the storms of pain and hurt or become dehydrated by the sun of anger and frustration. here is where we make our move. to go on, in this journey. we will see many spectacles throughout our lives, but it is imperative that we remember the times that mean the most to us. whether its in the overwhelmed times, the serene times, the good times, or the just "ok" times. don’t forget how you’ve grown. it is these monumental places that have shaped you into the person you are today.